Wow! Its in 3D! zzzzzzz. Double Bill Review

Technology is improving faster that wallets can gain the cash for it.

My short life has seen some huge advances in technology in all fields of life. Despite the wonders of internet broadband, Sky Plus, and Facebook the greatest improved product in the last 10 years has to be the hand dryer. The metal box that used to blow out pithy puffs of luke warm air, forcing you to dirty your hands by rubbing them on your Jeans are over. We now have the ‘Air Blade’ and ‘Air Force’, mini hurricanes for all your hand drying needs.

There’s no doubting that in the last ten years visual entertainment has also seen a huge development, although nothing as dramatic and life style changing as the hand dryer. The transition from analogue to digital television slightly improved the picture; the transition from digital to high definition improved it slightly more. The blood, sweat and tears that dominate our screens when we watch a film can shine brighter than ever before. After going out and buying your HD JVC LCD TV (acronym overload there) you would hope that all that cash you’ve handed out would be a good investment. Seemingly not, as this month sees the release of the first batch of HD LCD 3D TVs.

3D at the cinema is a gimmick to prevent piracy and make you spend an extra £2 on your cinema ticket. A few films such as Pixar’s UP, Beowulf and of course Avatar do make pretty good use of it but I’ve yet to see a film convinces me it is the next step in film and television. The following two reviews are the latest 3D releases, and I’m going to try and convince you to save that extra £2, just see the normal 2D release, and enjoy the hand dryer for free.

Clash of the Titans (Louis Leterrier, 2010)

Eyes will roll

This month’s first 3D release is a remake of the stop motion 1980s classic of the same name. Childhood memories, cowering behind a pillow at my grandparent’s house during the terrifying Medusa scene were abruptly destroyed by this awful attempt.

The films plot is quickly explained by Gemma Arterton’s charater Io in the first three minutes and is pretty much the only narrative progression in the film. Set in ancient Greece, the film revolves around two Gods, Zeus and Hades, who decide to punish earth due to their lack of worship. Unlike the regular god, who punishes through a flood of 40 days and nights, these super Gods send down various creatures which our band of heroes must defeat. The leader of which is Perseus (Sam Worthington), who just happens to be a half god as his mother was raped by a disguised Zeus

Got all that? As that’s the only exposition you get before Louis Leterrier puts forth action set piece after action set piece. It turns out that plasticine monsters are far scarier than big budget CGI as this film fails to raise the pulses. It falls into the pit-falls of many sub-par summer blockbusters, failing to realise that, even if you have a 500 ft tall monster tearing up towns during a vicious storm, audiences will be falling asleep if you don’t care about the story or characters.

Every single character is under developed, there is a poorly done love story concerning Persues and Io, several unexciting fights and two great actors spouting reams of cheesy dialogue. Zeus and Hades, played by Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes should have been daunting, powerhouse performances but they seem to have taken their pay check switched on auto-pilot. Pitting the good and evil Nazi from Spielberg’s Schindler's List could have been fantastic casting, but it just adds to the disappointment of the film. Fiennes, using the same voice he uses as Voldermort in the Harry Potter series can barely muster a sneer.

This is the second time Sam Worthington has been thrust in our faces in 3D, and while Avatar was a good showcase at otherwise unconvincing technology, Clash of the Titans demonstrates the way film studios are exploiting audiences. Originally planned as a 2D film, Titan’s 3D was done post-production simply so they could charge more and it really shows. Backgrounds are blurry, colours are faded and there is very little depth. If you must see it, save your £2 and buy the original DVD second hand to show how much they have tainted its name.

Verdict

Any Director who manages to make the half snake half women Medusa, a giant scorpion and a Kraken boring needs to go back to film school, and watch the original while they are there.

*1/2

How to Train your Dragon (Dean Deblois & Chris Sanders, 2010)

Our second 3D release this month, is not improved, or tainted by the technology. It is simply a very well made family film.

This is the first film since 300 where Gerard Butler is not the most irritating actor ever to grace our screens. He should stick to his CGI form as the Viking Stoick, leader of a village which has a major pest problem, Dragons. While his follow Viking warriors are battling their way through the horned beasts, his son Hiccup is struggling to find his calling. Determined to show his father he can fight, he shoots down a Dragon, and discovers he is a better Dragon Trainer than Dragon Killer. He befriends his fire breathing friend and becomes the resident Dragon tamer.

Dreamworks animation has always been second to Pixar. Their franchises such Ice-Age and Shrek, while good, are never as visually impressive or emotionally involving as Pixar’s best work such as Up, Monsters Inc and Toy Story. In this case however, the studio has made their best work.

Visually the artists made a good choice to choose cartoonish rather than hyper-real animation. The various breeds of dragon are entertaining to watch, funny when needed and scary when the nasty ones turn up. Likewise the human characters are all likable and largely well written. The bizarre choice to give the adults Scottish accents and the children American ones aside, they will appeal to both children and adults in the audience.

The film isn’t always successful with its jokes, but it is always a pleasant watch, and never boring. The flight sequences in particular are spectacular. Hiccup takes his time taming his Dragon and they build a relationship that any dog owner will be able to relate too. The pacing is excellent, the climactic battle is well drawn out, but it is the build up that is the most fun.

Verdict

Avatar is not the best 3D release of the year. How to Train Your Dragon is a breezy enjoyable romp through a stereotyped but wholly realised land, make sure you catch this one before the inevitable sequel.

****1/2