Busy Bee - ultra quick roundup of latest releases

I'm pretty busy at the moment, so can't do as many reviews as I would like. So in true Hollywood fashion here is a sneak preview of my ratings for other films I've seen, reviews will follow and I'll remove this spoiler!





Remember me

Twi-hard fans won't find a lot to like here. I actually did. However, its unrelenting moody tone, slow pacing and rather unneeded 'shock' ending cheapened the whole thing.
**1/2

The Ghost

Polanski’s latest is awful. Don’t believe the critics applauds, it’s needlessly slow, poorly acted with some very creaky dialogue and an awful soundtrack.
*

Cemetery Junction

This may lose a star on a second viewing as I saw it after viewing the ghost, so anything was going to be great compared to it. It may completely clone the Dawn-Tim love triangle from the office, but Gervais's and Merchant’s film debut is funny, moving and sweet.
****

Whip It

Drew Barrymore’s directorial debut is shamelessly in your face, with a brash punk soundtrack, girly food fights, actual girl fights and a lot of roller skating. She can’t quite make the roller derby matches exciting enough, but it has enough comedy and heart to make up for it.
****

Wow! Its in 3D! zzzzzzz. Double Bill Review

Technology is improving faster that wallets can gain the cash for it.

My short life has seen some huge advances in technology in all fields of life. Despite the wonders of internet broadband, Sky Plus, and Facebook the greatest improved product in the last 10 years has to be the hand dryer. The metal box that used to blow out pithy puffs of luke warm air, forcing you to dirty your hands by rubbing them on your Jeans are over. We now have the ‘Air Blade’ and ‘Air Force’, mini hurricanes for all your hand drying needs.

There’s no doubting that in the last ten years visual entertainment has also seen a huge development, although nothing as dramatic and life style changing as the hand dryer. The transition from analogue to digital television slightly improved the picture; the transition from digital to high definition improved it slightly more. The blood, sweat and tears that dominate our screens when we watch a film can shine brighter than ever before. After going out and buying your HD JVC LCD TV (acronym overload there) you would hope that all that cash you’ve handed out would be a good investment. Seemingly not, as this month sees the release of the first batch of HD LCD 3D TVs.

3D at the cinema is a gimmick to prevent piracy and make you spend an extra £2 on your cinema ticket. A few films such as Pixar’s UP, Beowulf and of course Avatar do make pretty good use of it but I’ve yet to see a film convinces me it is the next step in film and television. The following two reviews are the latest 3D releases, and I’m going to try and convince you to save that extra £2, just see the normal 2D release, and enjoy the hand dryer for free.

Clash of the Titans (Louis Leterrier, 2010)

Eyes will roll

This month’s first 3D release is a remake of the stop motion 1980s classic of the same name. Childhood memories, cowering behind a pillow at my grandparent’s house during the terrifying Medusa scene were abruptly destroyed by this awful attempt.

The films plot is quickly explained by Gemma Arterton’s charater Io in the first three minutes and is pretty much the only narrative progression in the film. Set in ancient Greece, the film revolves around two Gods, Zeus and Hades, who decide to punish earth due to their lack of worship. Unlike the regular god, who punishes through a flood of 40 days and nights, these super Gods send down various creatures which our band of heroes must defeat. The leader of which is Perseus (Sam Worthington), who just happens to be a half god as his mother was raped by a disguised Zeus

Got all that? As that’s the only exposition you get before Louis Leterrier puts forth action set piece after action set piece. It turns out that plasticine monsters are far scarier than big budget CGI as this film fails to raise the pulses. It falls into the pit-falls of many sub-par summer blockbusters, failing to realise that, even if you have a 500 ft tall monster tearing up towns during a vicious storm, audiences will be falling asleep if you don’t care about the story or characters.

Every single character is under developed, there is a poorly done love story concerning Persues and Io, several unexciting fights and two great actors spouting reams of cheesy dialogue. Zeus and Hades, played by Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes should have been daunting, powerhouse performances but they seem to have taken their pay check switched on auto-pilot. Pitting the good and evil Nazi from Spielberg’s Schindler's List could have been fantastic casting, but it just adds to the disappointment of the film. Fiennes, using the same voice he uses as Voldermort in the Harry Potter series can barely muster a sneer.

This is the second time Sam Worthington has been thrust in our faces in 3D, and while Avatar was a good showcase at otherwise unconvincing technology, Clash of the Titans demonstrates the way film studios are exploiting audiences. Originally planned as a 2D film, Titan’s 3D was done post-production simply so they could charge more and it really shows. Backgrounds are blurry, colours are faded and there is very little depth. If you must see it, save your £2 and buy the original DVD second hand to show how much they have tainted its name.

Verdict

Any Director who manages to make the half snake half women Medusa, a giant scorpion and a Kraken boring needs to go back to film school, and watch the original while they are there.

*1/2

How to Train your Dragon (Dean Deblois & Chris Sanders, 2010)

Our second 3D release this month, is not improved, or tainted by the technology. It is simply a very well made family film.

This is the first film since 300 where Gerard Butler is not the most irritating actor ever to grace our screens. He should stick to his CGI form as the Viking Stoick, leader of a village which has a major pest problem, Dragons. While his follow Viking warriors are battling their way through the horned beasts, his son Hiccup is struggling to find his calling. Determined to show his father he can fight, he shoots down a Dragon, and discovers he is a better Dragon Trainer than Dragon Killer. He befriends his fire breathing friend and becomes the resident Dragon tamer.

Dreamworks animation has always been second to Pixar. Their franchises such Ice-Age and Shrek, while good, are never as visually impressive or emotionally involving as Pixar’s best work such as Up, Monsters Inc and Toy Story. In this case however, the studio has made their best work.

Visually the artists made a good choice to choose cartoonish rather than hyper-real animation. The various breeds of dragon are entertaining to watch, funny when needed and scary when the nasty ones turn up. Likewise the human characters are all likable and largely well written. The bizarre choice to give the adults Scottish accents and the children American ones aside, they will appeal to both children and adults in the audience.

The film isn’t always successful with its jokes, but it is always a pleasant watch, and never boring. The flight sequences in particular are spectacular. Hiccup takes his time taming his Dragon and they build a relationship that any dog owner will be able to relate too. The pacing is excellent, the climactic battle is well drawn out, but it is the build up that is the most fun.

Verdict

Avatar is not the best 3D release of the year. How to Train Your Dragon is a breezy enjoyable romp through a stereotyped but wholly realised land, make sure you catch this one before the inevitable sequel.

****1/2

Controversy! The age old debate of censorship arises in Roper Review

The Roper Review is sparking intense debate, ok slight hyperbole, but have a look at the link below so see the heated response my Kick Ass review generated from one induvidual.

http://www.kidderminstershuttle.co.uk/blogs/7812587.Think_again_Joe_Roper_by_DaTa/

and my response

http://www.kidderminstershuttle.co.uk/blogs/7984952.Think_again_Joe_Roper___A_Response/

Joe :)

Roper Review’s Round Up

Doing an Mphil in film, having a Cineworld card, and just being a general geek means I do visit the cinema rather a lot. As much as I love sitting in the dark room watching films, I don’t always have time to review them. Annoying things like uni work, actual work and a social life get in the way. Here is a quick round up of the films I have seen since starting this blog that I haven’t had time to dedicate a full length review to. A few of them don’t deserve one, a few of them do, so if you feel like doing one of them justice, there’s some homework for you. I mean what else could be more fun that bitching about films?

From Paris with Love (Pierre Moral, 2010)

The director of Taken; a film so outrageously violent and enjoyable in which Liam Nielson threatens to single handedly tear down the Eifel Tower this action “comedy” stars a fat, bold John Travolta and brit Jonathan Rees Myers.

It belongs back in the 1980s when casual racism, stupid story lines and car chase sequences were all the rage. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t laugh once or twice, and enjoy the odd fight or two, but the story in which John Travolta squeals with delight every time he shoots one of the “Pakistanis,” as he constantly calls them, leaves a lot to be desired.

** (2 stars – Unless you Jim Davidson in which case add three more)


The Crazies (Breck Eisner, 2010)

Yet another zombie movie.... although in such an over populated genre it does stand out as one of the better examples. A re-make of George A. Romero’s 1978 film, it stands alongside the excellent Dawn of the Dead remake. Director Breck Eisner has made a short, nasty and effective horror.

When a plane crashes in a small American town, a virus spreads turning those infected into homicidal maniacs. It is an impressive feat that the film manages to find a voice of its own and delivers some incredible tense scenes, with minimal gore. One scene set in a car wash may create the same anxiety that Psycho did for the shower.

Like the best Zombie films, it uses its walking dead (or crazies in this case) to deliver scares but makes the humans into the real enemies. The U.S military ruthlessly gun down innocents in fear, a sub-text very applicable to darker moments in our history. It delivers its chills and thrills quickly and effectively. Worth a watch, unless you are sick of Zombie films.

***1/2

Alice in Wonderland (Tim Burton, 2010)


Tim Burton, one of the most visionary directors currently working in Hollywood is getting predictable. Johnny Depp, one of the most watchable and adaptable actors currently working in Hollywood is getting boring. This film packs no surprises; but is an adequate, darkly gothic, yet child friendly sequel to Lewis Carols’ classic.

Tim Burton's last family picture, Charlie and the Chocolate factory was awful. In his latest he redeems his ability to mix the macabre with the merry but amongst the twisty landscape and Danny Elfman score; you will have seen it all before. The biggest disappointment is Johnny Depp, who does not seem to stray past his Captain Jack Sparrow comfort zone these days.

The first half is very enjoyable; if a little CGI heavy as the impressive world unfolds around Alice. Helena Bonham Carter is magnificent as the red queen, turning her into a big headed (literally) spoilt brat compete with lisp and stamping gestures. The second half is just the build up to a rather disappointing battle and the film turns into faux Lord of the Rings, which is no good thing. Worth a watch however for Carter, the strong performance of Mia Wasikowska who plays Alice, Matt Lucas’s brilliant Tweedle Dee/Dum expression and that excellent first half.

*** (3 Stars) Remove a star if you see it in 3D which I found to be blurry and rather distracting.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Niels Arden Oplev, 2009)


This is a very strong opener for the film adaptations of the late Stieg Larsson’s Millenium Trilogy. The crime series that depicts the exploits of Journalist Mikael Bloomkvist and goth computer hacker Lisbeth Salander.

Bloomkvist is asked to investigate a 40 year old disappearance of a girl. Salander becomes involved after being hired to hack his computer and becomes an unlikely ally in solving the case. It is dark and gripping film which derives its tensions through a fantastic screenplay rather the usual stalk and slash murder sequences which dominate the crime genre. It is also a detailed character study of Salander, whose mysterious past and moody demeanor makes her one fascinating anti-hero.

As a result of its small budget it can at times feel a little bit made for TV, but this would be one hell of an episode of Midsummer Murders.
**** (4 Stars)

I Love You Phillip Morris (Glenn Ficarra and John Requa, 2010)


Jack Nicolson once claimed that Jim Carry would be the “Jack Nicolson” of the next generation, and it is films like this that support that argument and make one forget all about Ace Ventura. I Love You Phillip Morris is based on exploits of con-man Steven Russell who escaped from prison numerous times to get back to his boyfriend Phillip Morris.

It is a story so amazing that if it wasn’t true the plot would be criticised for being farfetched. I won’t ruin his greatest escapes but one stroke of genius involves him dying his prison uniform green and walking out disguised as a doctor. Unlike the Bounty Hunter, reviewed below, this is a true romantic comedy with plenty of both. Those expecting more of Carry’s ‘zany’ comedy will find something far more subtle and convincing here. Its greatest strength is the way it involves the audience. Russell’s voice over openly invites us to make our own judgements of his actions, and its ending plays a huge trick audience that will horrify as much as it will raise laughter.
**** (4 stars)

The Bounty Hunter (Andy Tennant, 2009)


How does Gerard Butler keep getting romantic comedy roles? He is the most unlikable romantic leading man I have ever seen. When he was killing Spartans, he did just fine, but his ability to charm Katherine Hiegal, Hillary Swank and now Jennifer Anniston baffles. This ‘Romantic’ ‘Comedy’, which has little of either, concerns Milo Boyd, a bounty hunter whose latest job is escorting his ex-wife to jail. Low and behold, on their ‘wacky’ journey together they begin to question why they broke up in the first place.

We are expected to laugh as he pulls her around aggressively by the wrist, handcuffing her to whatever he can find, and then smile when they reignite their love life. The ever watchable Anniston is pretty good as his ex-wife/captive, but Butler is awful throughout and downright creepy at times. Realising the lack of on screen chemistry the film makers also choose to insert some rather pathetic action sequences. Just put me in Jail, it’s got to be more fun that this film.
* (1 star)